驴子

陈德君

驴子
文/陈德君

The owner is the hilly areas in the most remote corners of poverty county, GA Xiang from the village, one of the pooresthouseholds.

The donkey to arable land, farming year master, pull, bear hardship without complaint.

The donkey on the road, see the tractor, agricultural vehiclesa year more than a year.

The donkey in the field to see the farm machinery is also a year more than a year.

The donkey saw dealers trucks to other farmers in the villagedonkey a head to head away.

Donkey heart more and more afraid.

One day in 2020, the master took it out of the slotted head.He knew it was the village work last head donkey, it is lonely.The donkey just turn the body into his car shaft, see a newtractor. The car pulled the agricultural machinery.

The donkey saw the village head down from the car.

The laugh of the master said, we use these poor mechanicalto change your ass?

The owner asked, why?

Our corner County enter comparatively well-off society in the round, you don't give zacun discredit.

He threw down the tractor and the mechanical, hold the donkey went.

The master to stop, this donkey is old, you take it have what use?

The chief says, this donkey is a baby, the only remaining inyour home so a head, the governor had a few days to check,to our village, it is the best reception dinner!

He wants to pull donkey, donkey Siti pedal to not move, it looked at his tears fell down......

     
（497字）

白沙地

以情动人，构思还可以更巧妙些，文中的波折力度不够，所以结尾亮度稍弱，语言精炼下更佳。个见，问好。

天马行空

很有想象力，但结尾落入了俗套，如果精心构思好结尾，此篇堪称精品。个见，问好！

陈德君

白沙地 发表于 2014-5-29 21:27
以情动人，构思还可以更巧妙些，文中的波折力度不够，所以结尾亮度稍弱，语言精炼下更佳。个见，问好。

谢谢老师阅评指导！好的，我再改改。

陈德君

天马行空 发表于 2014-5-29 21:49
很有想象力，但结尾落入了俗套，如果精心构思好结尾，此篇堪称精品。个见，问好！

谢谢老师阅评指导！好的，我已修改，帖子另发。

野鸟

问好